This is another one of those Mom posts, hope you don’t mind. But if you do, tomorrow will be a new recipe, so come back then!
I’ve decided that Tuesdays will be the ‘Hot Topic’ day. These will be topics that every parent has to discuss & deal with. I figure it’s a good way to hear different opinions, and just talk about them in general.
Since becoming a Mom I’ve seen this whole new side of being a parent. The side that any parent can tell you about- criticism. It’s constant & it doesn’t end.
I remember when Gabriella was about a month old, I had to run to Target for a few essentials. I had G in the stroller and at this point she was NOT a fan of the car seat so she was being a little fussy. But it was just a ‘fuss to fuss’ kind of cry. (You will learn your child’s different cries very quickly!) I went to check out, after literally grabbing everything I needed in 5 minutes (I didn’t want to be the one with the fussy kid in the store) & as I was checking out, the cashier next to me made a comment. She looked at Gabriella & said, ‘Oh she must be SO hungry. You need to go & feed her.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Umm, excuse me, but she just ate. She’s totally fine, she just doesn’t want to be in her car seat.’
(That’s a yawn, not a fuss )
I know, attitude. But honestly, who is she to tell me that my child needs to eat?! Then the lady proceeded to tell me that she was hungry….oh, it was a good thing I was in a hurry other wise I may of said something I regretted. It just really bothered me.
But that’s not uncommon. People will constantly tell you have to raise your child. (& I don’t mean family, I definitely don’t mind advice from my family, but I’m talking strangers) Just like when you are pregnant, people will constantly tell you what’s ok & what’s not ok while pregnant. It gets annoying. YOU are the one who knows what’s best for you & your child & your pregnancy. It’s no one else’s’ business. (well, besides your husband/ significant other’s)
While I was pregnant I drank coffee & I think I may have had a total of 2 glasses of wine during the whole 10 months. OH NO! How terrible of me. I must be the worst mother, right?!
No. Not at all. Of course I didn’t go overboard. I stuck to what my doctor said about coffee- they said I was allowed 2 cups a day. Random side note: If you are pregnant or nursing, be aware that Starbucks coffee has about THREE times the amount of caffeine compared to normal brewed coffee. Just an FYI. I never knew that until I got pregnant & started looking at caffeine content. And with the wine, the two glasses I had were special occasions. I had one for our year anniversary (May 27th) & then one at my in-laws 60th birthday party.
(At their 60th party- 8 months pregnant )
I felt ok about it, so I had wine. You have to do what you are comfortable with. There is nothing wrong either way. Of course I am NOT advocating getting drunk or ANYTHING of that nature. But two glasses of wine during my pregnancy did not do any harm to my child.
(My baby shower favors that my Father in Law made with an ultrasound picture of Gabriella- The COOLEST favors I have EVER seen!)
But people can be SO judgmental. It’s almost ridiculous & you never notice it until you are in the situation.
This brings up my next point. Breast feeding. This is a HUGE point of controversy in raising a child. I was AMAZED at how RUDE people can be about the topic. Now, as I’ve said before, I am exclusively breast feeding, but that’s because I CAN & it works FOR US.
That does NOT mean it works for all families. Some women can’t breast fed, their child may not latch or they just choose not to. That’s THEIR decision.
Being a first time Mom, I read a LOT online about anything & everything about raising a child. From tips on sleeping, books to read, different play time ideas, and just different things in general about being a new parent.
While doing all of this reading, you can’t help but see the controversy in comments that people post. I enjoy reading people’s responses to topics because you can get some good ideas. But at the same time you see people SLAMMING each other. It’s insane. I just find it ridiculous HOW people can give their opinion on a child/ family that they don’t even know.
While I was pregnant I made the decision that , if I could breast feed, I definitely wanted to. One of the reasons I really wanted to (besides the basics- like all of the antibodies in the breast milk, the immunity it helps build for the child, and just that it is supposed to be a ‘complete form of nutrition for infants’) was that I read it could help ward off Crohn’s disease symptoms in the baby. You are born with Crohn’s disease, so it’s not like breastfeeding can prevent it, but it can help keep the disease in remission. (for lack of better words)
One of my biggest fears was passing Crohn’s disease to G. It’s not like I can help it…obviously …but whatever I can do to help keep it (or the symptoms) away from her is what I will do.
(melts my heart…every time!)
I also told myself that if breastfeeding didn’t work out, then I was NOT going to stress about it. With the way formula is made these days, I knew either way she would be perfectly fine!
Luckily she latched EASILY (right when she was born she latched) and I didn’t have ANY issues with it. And now that we are 3 1/2 months in, she is still doing really well (too well…that she won’t take a bottle ) and I’m still going to try for a year to breast feed her. WHEN (not if) we get her to take a bottle, I’m thinking I will do more pumping & bottle feeding and just save nursing for her night time feeding. Just so other people can feed her, and if I need to be out some where I don’t have to worry about rushing home to feed her.
What I’ve seen in the “Mom world” though is how BADLY other women look down on Moms that formula feed their child. WHO CARES! They do NOT know the reason the Mom chose to breastfeed…and it’s NONE of their business. Some women don’t produce enough milk, or their milk dries up, or they are on a medication that doesn’t allow them to breast feed…there are a TON of reasons. I guess the main thing is to not judge, especially when you don’t know the whole situation.
These are just my own personal feelings! Would love to hear what you think too!